Customer Service

There?s A Lot To Be Said For ?Please & Thank-You? Training

Once, in the middle of a major consulting assignment I chatted with two managers about the prior customer service training that they had sponsored for their staff.
With derision in his voice, one described the program as “Please & Thank You” training.
Well that’s pretty mindless and wasteful, I recall thinking.
But now, I have a different viewpoint. I believe every customer interfacing person should be taught the importance of saying please and thank you at least five times more often.
It was either Aristotle or Plato who reportedly said that education is the one good thing in life that we can’t get too much of, though I don’t think they encountered chocolate.
But we can definitely add to that short list, courtesy.
Customers love hearing please and thank you, repeatedly, because it makes them feel important. And by uttering these words, we remind ourselves who comes first, in business.
Over the years, there has been a steady democratizing of the employee-customer relationship, and I’m not sure it has been that productive. One sign of it is when a banking CSR asks you who he is speaking to, and you reply with your full name, and he then uses your first name through the remainder of the conversation.
Who authorized him to take such a liberty?
Growing up, the etiquette I learned was that we use someone’s formal name, i.e. Dr. Mr. or Ms. along with the last name, if the person is older, if the person has higher status or power, if we have just met, or until we have been invited by that person to be less formal.
But again, the presumption is that we’re ceding authority and power to the customer. If we think we’re superior or equals, then I suppose we’ll dispense with this customary etiquette.
Some CEO’s like to invert the order of importance, saying that their employees come first, customers second, and stockholders, third. There’s nothing wrong with lionizing your staff, but does it have to come at the expense of other constituencies?
No matter, I’m sure front-line folks wouldn’t mind hearing please and thank you from their managers 500% more often, as well!
Dr. Gary S. Goodman © 2006

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. A frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide, Gary’s programs are offered by UCLA Extension and by numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. Gary is headquartered in Glendale, California. He can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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Sales & Customer Satisfaction Secret: Promise Big & Deliver Bigger!

Reverend Robert Schuller is known to millions as the charismatic guiding light of the Crystal Cathedral, a monument to possibility thinking that has been the home of one of the most successful television ministries for decades.
Dr. Schuller is also a fine author and an engaging speaker, as well as a master marketer and a super salesman. Read him closely and you’ll be amazed at how he succeeded in making his dream of building the Crystal Cathedral a reality.
Suffice it to say, that he has a few brilliant insights, paraphrased here, that we can all benefit from putting to use:
(1) People love grand undertakings and they long to be part of something big.
(2) We make a terrible mistake by asking for less than what we need to fulfill our dreams.
(3) If you build it, they will come. (Later popularized in the movie, “Field of Dreams.”)
As salespeople, we tend to do the opposite. We propose a modest amount in our presentations, fail to ask for what we really want and need, and we wait for clients to
order more, based on their perceived needs.
One of my most successful undertakings has been promoting the idea that corporations should train everyone to be better communicators, polished customer service purveyors, and salespeople. I urge them to “make a corporate commitment” to our programs, and to support training at all levels, from the president on down the line.
By necessity, such a commitment involves a substantial investment, but without a doubt, these mega-programs are the most satisfying to everyone.
Dr. Schuller says that small undertakings just don’t have the sizzle to generate interest and unleash people’s energies, and I’ve found this to be very true.
More important, it has been my experience that the surest path to creating high sales and high customer satisfaction is to promise big, and to deliver even bigger.
That way, everybody wins!
Dr. Gary S. Goodman © 2006

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. A frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide, Gary’s programs are offered by UCLA Extension and by numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. Gary is headquartered in Glendale, California. He can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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The Customer?s Always Right : The Grand Illusion

I have to tell you I was dumb founded by what I was hearing from the Cingular “Customer Service?” Rep. Wasn’t this the same company that spent millions of dollars with their ad campaigns, telephone solicitations, and those cozy family plan commercials offering free phones and wonderful plans with their smiley employees, so friendly, with their “we’ll take care of you” promises? How comforting it was to know that there is still a company out there with the lost philosophy of “the customers always right”. What a relief.
Let me fill you in on my latest conversations with the good people at Cingular’s customer dis-service department. I have 5 phones from cingular and in all we have about 12 in my family.
We liked the idea that we can have unlimited calls to others with the same service, and indeed we do. That’s about the last positive thing I can say about our mobile phone service.
My final fiasco began when I lost my main phone some weeks back. This number was on all my business cards, car magnet, internet sites, and in countless advertisements in print and online. So needless to say, I needed to keep this number.
My first call to Cingular was to report the phone lost. which I did that same night. My first question to customer service was “How can I keep this number, yet block any out-going calls at the same time should the phone end up in the wrong hands?
Here are the options that my phone company gave me:
1) We can turn that phone off and you can purchase a new one. (Okay, that sounds fair, after all they practically give these phones away, so how much could another phone possibly cost.)
“Well sir, to replace the phone you lost will cost you $249.00″.
“I don’t understand”, I replied quite puzzled. “I only paid $50 for that phone when I bought it, plus I received a $50 rebate, so I paid nothing for it”
“Well sir, that price is only available when you sign a 2 year contract, unfortunately you don’t qualify for an upgrade for another 5 weeks when your existing contracts expires on that particular phone” Okay, do you see where this is going?
So I’m forced to bring out the heavy ammo. I have no alternative at this point but to threaten to cancel all my accounts and I let them know I’m taking my entire Network of friends and family members with me. I hate to do it , but these people have to realize how serious I am in order for them to fully understand the ramifications they are facing by jeopardizing their chances of losing this large account that they spent so much time and money on to make sure we didn’t fall into the hands of any of their many competitors. Basically they said, “See yuh!”
Now I’m stuck like chuck and end up buying the cheapest phone they have and now the old number is forwarded from the lost phone I can no longer use, (yet I’m still paying for) to the new phone I was forced to purchase because I still have 6 weeks left on my contract. Are you following me so far? Now pay close attention, because this is the proverbial “icing on the cake”.
My phone bill arrives and I’m being billed over $500. Surely there must be a mistake and I know with just one quick phone call to my friends at customer service this will all be corrected and the charges will naturally be removed due to some understandable mistake on their part. It was then explained to me why my bill was so unusually high. You see, it seems I had made several calls out of the country from the phone I reported lost and no longer had in my possession. Yes, after having this account for 3 years it seems I was now making calls to Haiti and points beyond. Good thing for me I had reported the phone lost and Cingular put a calling restriction on the phone in case it turned up one day. Could you imagine if I was the one they were going to hold responsible for all those calls? I knew their fraud department would pursue this and maybe even recover my phone. “Excuse me, what did you just say?” I asked the fine folks at the phone company. “You want “ME” to pay for the calls to Haiti, are you serious?” Oh yes, they were very serious. They are demanding, yes demanding, as in threatening to cut off my service if I don’t pay the bill from the phone that I reported had been lost over a month ago.
Are you kidding me? Try talking to a supervisor; see how far that gets you. First they try to keep you on hold long enough to get you to hang up. Tactic 2 (unofficially there are rumored to be 113 stall and distraction techniques, but this is only a myth and the exact figures are top secret and perhaps we’ll never know. This is Cingulars version of the “Grassy Knoll” and to speak of it may be endangering my next phone bill at this very moment.)
Do you get the big picture? This is big business’s version of “You can’t fight city hall”. The sad truth is the customer is not always right any more; in fact we’re almost never right, because they have an excuse for everything. They have it right there in front of them in the form of cheat sheets. You say this, they say that. They don’t care about giving the individual “Customer Service”. They target millions of people all in the same fish bowl. If you or I have a problem they really aren’t concerned about losing our $50 or $150 dollars a month, they have trained people to deal with dis-satisfied customers and they call those specialists “Customer Service Reps”, which translated means “see you, wouldn’t wanna be you”. Face it folks, you can’t win, the best you can do is think you won, and go away happy. And that is where Customer Service Reps excel.
If you enjoyed this article, please visit Jay’s Family sites at Jays Plan – Secrets of a Single Dad and Family Health With Mister Mom

Jay Bartels is the author of many human interest stories. Jay’s own story of hope and inspiration can be found on his highly resourcefull family sites. Jay is a single father raising two young girls and shares his experiences in several journals that can be found on his web sites.

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Quality of Customer Service is Most Important

For those of you who are working in a customer service industry, the quality of that customer service itself is the most important aspect of the job. People respond positively to good customer service. IF you are a business owner then you know how the saying goes, it’s easier to keep a customer, as it is to get a new customer. In order to keep your customers and build up some form of clientele that feels loyal to your company. Therefore you must put in the time and effort to keep your customers and your level of customer service up to where it should be.
In most areas of customer service there will be some time on the phone. If your job requires you to place and receive phone calls, you must ensure that you are always polite and customers. This is a great time to strengthen the relationship between the owner and the customer. Customer’s respond better to a business owner who is approachable and interested in their lives then someone who seems bothered and rushed. However, there are those that can become annoyed when the customer service representative becomes too personal. For those people who are in the customer service area, they should attempt to find a happy medium between being too friendly and not friendly at all.
At times in the customer service industry you will come into contact with less than satisfied customers. These people may become angry and they may yell. Sometimes it is hard to contain yourself and you might want to argue back. However, when you are working as a customer service representative then you must be able to control yourself. You should never interrupt an irate customer. If they are getting angry with you then you should just let them vent. Let them have their say and once they are done you can begin explaining what you can do to help solve the problem. The key to customer service is to always be obliging and polite.

James Hunt has spent 15 years as a professional writer and researcher covering stories that cover a whole spectrum of interest.
Read more at http://www.customer-service-central.info

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Customers ?R? Us!

It always amazes me how business people detach themselves from their customers, especially linguistically.
Customers are referred to, over and again, as “they,” as in “What are they thinking?” and “They must be crazy!”
It would make much more sense to change the pronoun to “we” and to “us.”
For instance, if you want to know what will motivate customer retention and customer loyalty, ask yourself, what do I appreciate, as a customer? What keeps me coming back?
For instance, I have frequented a small, family owned Italian restaurant in Hollywood for years. Tony, the proprietor of Palermo’s, happens to be one of the warmest people you’ll ever come across, and he always greets me that way, remembering my name.
That’s simple, right? But I appreciate it, along with the effort he exerts to say thank you to me as I leave.
Tony is more than warm. He’s smart.
When he first opened, over 20 years ago, he offered a free glass of wine to people who were waiting for a table. FREE WINE!
Now, it wasn’t vintage stuff, but it was drinkable, and always appreciated.
The loyal, if slightly marinated throngs who frequented Palermo’s always welcomed this gesture, and I’m sure it kept many coming back. Moreover, it opened the spigot, when customers did get seated. They ordered more—guess what? More wine, of course, this time paying for the privilege.
Today, the free wine costs 50 cents. Hey, everything goes up, sooner or later. But Tony is still subsidizing our pleasure, making a gesture, distinguishing his place from the pack.
His secret isn’t crushed grapes.
It’s identifying with his customers, treating us like family, like we’re “we,” instead of “them.”

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. A frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide, Gary’s programs are offered by UCLA Extension and by numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. Gary is headquartered in Glendale, California. He can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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Are You Hearing Your Customers?

Communication is a remarkable occurrence. Could any business survive
without it? As owners or representatives of an enterprise, we spend countless
hours, funds and energy to be heard, to craft our messages, policies and
behavior in a way that will truly express our intent – to our customers,
prospects, suppliers, employees, shareholders, the bank, the press; in short, to
everyone who can have an impact on the health of our business.
Many will tell you communication is a 2-way street: you say your piece and
then they say theirs. I think there’s a crucial 3rd step. Watch:
1 – You craft a message and distribute it through appropriate venues –sales
people, advertising media, website, sponsored events, service statements &
policies. (This is expression)
2 – Your message is received – or maybe ‘a’ message is received; could be it’s
not the message you were delivering. (This is comprehension – or not; who
knows?)
3 – Your customers and prospects respond to what they believe they heard (not
necessarily what you intended) which might be no response at all. And this is
where they show if they ‘get’ you, if you truly communicated.
With these 3 steps in mind, this is how I see communication working:
Expression+ Comprehension = Communication.
Without keeping track of that middle step –what they actually received and
comprehended – you may never understand what happened to step 1 and what
prompted step 3.
How can you ensure your ‘tracking service’ is on? Keep communication open to
always hear your customers. Don’t just send messages; encourage theirs, as
well. Their feedback and comments have a fundamental impact on how we run
our business, develop policies or create product. These messages, when
heard, provide the tweaking process that allows us to always respond to
changes in our marketplace.
If yours is the kind of business that has easy access to clientele – a retail
establishment, a service or medical professional, an enterprise with sales
people, or an organization with frequent membership meetings – first-hand
exposure to your customers is built into the way you do business. In this
situation, not only can you converse, one-on-one, but you can literally ‘see’
how they perceive you through the body language they exhibit when in your
company. When speaking with customers, look and listen; they may be
communicating through some classic body language:
• They touch you on the arm: think this is endearing or familiar? I think it’s
insecurity – you’re just not paying attention.
• Hands on hips: they’re patronizing you or feeling judgmental; wow – you
must have committed some offense!
• Arms crossed: they’re closed off, not interested in hearing you; clearly you’ve
lost them.
• Arched eyebrows: A surprised or confused look; certainly not confident and
in control.
• Pointing a finger: Well that’s pretty clear! That’s an accusatory gesture, even
if there’s a smile on their face.
None of these are positive messages and clearly, they call for some corrective
action. Just how that can be done is a subject for another article. But, as they
say: ‘knowledge is power’. Hearing your customers in this way, knowing how
they’re responding, is a tremendous tool as you refine your product,
promotions and policies.
If you don’t have the opportunity to meet with your clientele, there are other
tools you can employ to ensure the lines are always open. Many have used
questionnaires and surveys to find out, as did former N.Y.C. Mayor Koch:
‘How’m I doing?’ was a common question from him. If you use newsletters,
birthday greetings, rewards programs or e-mailed messages, you’ve got the
beginnings of a terrific 3-way street for both contact and clarity. Remember
the 3-way street is: Expression + Comprehension = Communication.
You might use these same devices – newsletter, greetings, emailed messages,
bill stuffers and such – to invite your customers to become a member of your
R&D Team. You may already use an internal R&D team to develop product
ideas. How about incorporating the same concept among customers? It can be
accomplished easily via email or a devoted page on your website. Consider
these benefits:
1. An R&D team made up of your customers allows you to test your plans for
product, promotion, policies, pricing outside the hot-house environment of
planned research.
2. An R&D team provides you with new ideas for any of the above. Who knows
where the next great one is coming from?
3. If your R&D team knows you rely on their feedback you’re likely to get far
more candid replies than through an impersonal survey.
4. If you incorporate or reward customers’ ideas, you’ll provide them the
opportunity to express themselves, something we all long to do.
5. This creates a powerful form of loyalty, the result of which may be their
desire to promote your business; they become your de facto sales team or even
evangelists.
When you involve customers in the health of your business and they believe
you value their opinions, they take a more active interest to ensure your
success, because it represents theirs, as well. This kind of relationship is far
more powerful than the purely financial one of their cash in exchange for your
goods. The desire to contribute, to make a difference, is a powerful
motivator. Allowing this to occur for your customers, simply as a result of
hearing them, will give you access to one of your strongest and must
underused assets –knowing what your customers think.

Andrea Feinberg, M.B.A., G.C.U., is president of Coaching Insight and uses
business coaching techniques to enable clients to maximize the many
underused assets in their businesses for marketing success, visionary
leadership, effective goal setting, productive time management and enhanced
employee performance. She can be reached at 631.642.7434 or
andrea@coachinginsight.com

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Customer Service is a Huge Part of Success

I know some of you are thinking… duh! But, I have been working from home for about 7 years and it still amazes me how many companies slack on their Customer Service duties. I have worked for a few Direct Sales companies as well as owing my own business. I still have much to learn about running a business, but I do know that you have to please your customer in order for them to return. Of all the Direct Sales companies I’ve been with, the main problem seems to be slow shipping. Of course, it depends on what is being sold. However, when a customer has to wait over a month for the products they’ve ordered, it is almost guaranteed that they will not order again. An example is Soy Candles. This type of candles has to have time to cure unlike paraffin candles. Therefore, it could take at least two weeks before they are ready to be shipped out. Or if you are selling handmade items it could take a while to complete the item if it is not pre-made. The first thing you should do for your customers is to let them know a time frame as to when they should expect to receive their items.
Another thing you must remember is that the customer is always right. If they are not happy with their purchase and customer service they will not recommend you to another potential customer. If you ship an item that is broken, missing, not received, etc. you must take care of the problem promptly. The first thing I would do is offer to replace the item. If they would like a refund, by all means, refund their money. You can even offer them some type of discount or free item to help build their trust.
When a customer places an order you should always write them a little note to thank them for their order and to let them know that you will notify them when their item(s) have been shipped. When you ship items with USPS always get a Delivery Confirmation number just in case the item does get lost. This way you can contact the Post Office to figure out where your package went. Forward the Confirmation number to your customer. If you use UPS or any other shipping company that has some sort of tracking, always forward that information to your customer also. Or at least give them an exact date that their item will be delivered (if shipping via UPS). Never say an item was shipped on a certain day when you didn’t ship it.
If there is a delay in shipping their products, notify the customer. It is always best to keep the customer updated on the progress rather than have them sit and wonder what is going on.
The most important thing to remember when it comes to Customer Service is to be honest, trustworthy and upfront. Communication is key. You want to gain the trust of your customer in order for them to return and to recommend your business to others. The customer is ALWAYS right!!

Angela Green is a stay at home mom and the owner of Angela’s Gift Nook where she offers many affordable items including Soy Candles, Bath and Body Products, Photo Frames, Oven Towel Dresses, Custom Painted Signs and many other handmade items. Visit her website at http://www.angelasgiftnook.com

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The Three Elements of Building Long Term, Profitable Business Relationships

There are three basic elements of building long term profitable business relationships. What needs to be kept in mind is that the following process should be followed FOR EACH PROSPECT. This can result in some “extra work” but the payoff is well worth the additional effort. The biggest obstacle in relationship development processes that I see is they don’t get very specific with regards to individual prospects. By observing the following steps and becoming creative in the ways you apply them, you can rest assured that the outcomes will be what you want them to be for both you and your prospects.
1. BEGIN AT THE END
A. Compose a short story of what the relationship with the prospect looks and feels like, how much money this relationship will bring into the company over a specified period of time and how much value and joy your organization will bring to the prospect (what you will give so that you can receive)
B. Devise a written plan detailing the steps that will be taken to create the desired outcome; obtain input from everyone in the value-chain who will have an impact on this prospect as a customer (be sure to tell them the story of the organization’s future relationship with this prospect)
C. Determine a date by which the desired outcome will occur
D. Assign specific milestones and timelines that need to be accomplished along the way
E. Budget for each prospect the amount of money needed to take the steps (if you skimp here, you’ll probably wind up wasting any money you do spend; remember, you’re investing to develop a long term business relationship, not a short term sale)
F. Hold “Huddles” with rotating contributors to the value-chain at least once a month to report progress, review the story (is what we’ve done so far helping to tell the story we wrote at the beginning of this process?) and solicit feedback and additional input; revise the relationship development plan based on the results of these Huddles
G. Engage in “Business Edification:” develop cost-free and low-cost ways you can help your prospect succeed in their business without charging them; this is an investment in the relationship and is provided without expectation of return – furthermore, this sort of activity should be constantly pursued even after (especially after) the prospect has become a paying customer
H. Determine who else (what other products and/or services) could benefit the prospect in ways they haven’t yet thought of (this is thinking about the prospect’s business needs and opportunities before they think of them themselves); explore creative ways you can partner with your prospect to help them get more than they expected in their business enterprises; go one step further and explore ways you can help them partner with other businesses that will help them grow their business influence and profits
2. FOCUS ON YOUR CUSTOMERS BUT KEEP YOUR COMPETITORS IN VIEW
A. Review all available marketing data and current research on competitors at the Huddle meetings
B. If new information indicates the need, create a strategy and a plan for countering any competitive advantages a competitor might be developing or might now have
C. Incorporate this information and this strategy into the relationship development plan
D. Determine what makes your customers continue to do business with you and then write a story about how your customers are better at what they do because of their relationship with you (use metaphors and analogies rather than merely reporting the “facts” and inserting testimonials)
3. UNDERSTAND THAT MARKETING IS RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
A. When it comes to developing long term profitable business relationships, a sale is a natural result of marketing – selling should not be considered as a separate process independent of marketing (the sales process flows out of and back into the marketing process)
B. Make every contact with the prospect (in any form – phone, email, letter, face-to-face, etc.) value added regarding information they can use immediately to solve a problem and/or increase their business influence and profits; the first two contacts should be both about you and about them with all subsequent contacts primarily about them (as an example, faxing articles about their industry which demonstrates that you know about them, their industry and what they’re reading – or should be reading)
C. Think ahead of the curve of your prospect’s need; consider their fiscal year and when they will be most likely to need your products/services and those of other businesses as well; this way, you become viewed as a solicited trusted advisor and not an intrusive salesperson (as the marketing guru Dan Kennedy says, “an invited guest, not an unwanted pest”)
D. Follow up with every opportunity to define and solve a problem or create and capitalize on an opportunity; if you can help your prospects see their businesses a little more clearly from an outside perspective, you’ll have gone a long way in forging a strong and lasting bond of respect and trust with them

Ken Wallace, M. Div., CSL has been in the organizational development field since 1973. He is a seasoned consultant, speaker and executive coach with extensive business experience in multiple industries who provides practical organizational direction and support for business leaders. A professional member of the National Speakers Association since 1989, he is also a member of the International Federation for Professional Speaking and holds the Certified Seminar Leader (CSL) professional designation awarded by the American Seminar Leaders Association.
Ken is one of only eight certified Business Systems Coaches worldwide for General Motors.
His topics include ethics, leadership, change, communication & his unique Optimal Process Design® program.
Tel:(800)235-5690 Claim your free eBook, “How to Do Better Than Your Best in Anything You Do” by visiting the Better Than Your Best website.

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Companies Beware: One Strike & You?re Out!

Too busy to go myself, I promised a business associate a free ticket to Europe, which was great news, making me nothing less than a hero, a real sport, and just one heck of a guy.
Then, U.S. Airways informed me that my frequent flyer miles had expired, and I couldn’t use them, or give them away.
My associate never quite recovered from the blow, nor did I, nor has U.S. Airways, which has free-fallen into bankruptcy.
Since hearing that piece of bad news, I vowed to never again step onto a U.S. Airways flight, and I fly a lot, earning top-tier status in three other carriers’ loyalty programs.
When a company acts this stupidly, forcing a customer to forfeit an entitlement, it elicits a potent and permanent response:
“I give up,” the customer says, throwing up his hands. “This is absurd.”
And then, he curses the offender, while praying for its comeuppance.
This is the price that companies pay for mindlessly enforcing Draconian policies, and it happens all the time. Customers don’t walk away; they run.
Most customer satisfaction models don’t factor-in the “One strike and you’re out!” mentality of customers. Instead, they foolishly assume that all results are incremental, bad as well as good.
But deep pools of distrust and dissatisfaction can swell and overflow like flash floods.
Review your customer service policies now, rooting out all absurd and overly punitive strictures and requirements. It may not be too late to save a lot of business, including mine!

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. A frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide, Gary’s programs are offered by UCLA Extension and by numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. Gary is headquartered in Glendale, California. He can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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I?m Sorry, Have I Offended You?

Most of us are conflict averse, and for a good reason. It isn’t much fun being in a fight with someone, getting physically or emotionally bruised.
So, we avoid confrontations, but we tend to overdo it. There are some occasions when confronting potential negativity can prevent, or dissipate even more unpleasantness.
A case in point is when we suspect we have offended someone.
If a customer leaves a message on our voice mail and we reply the next day, instead of calling back right away, it’s normal to expect a colder reception than usual when we finally connect.
Most of us will experience the chill unconsciously, and we may respond, if only nonverbally, with our own coolness.
This can start a chain reaction of distancing, until we no longer want to deal with each other. This deterioration in relationship could have been prevented if one of us said, “I’m sorry, but have I offended you?”
Right away, several dynamics are put into place:
(1) We staunch the flow of negativity.
(2) We apologize first, which is totally appropriate if we did offend. If they initiated the sequence, no matter. Our apology will elicit theirs, or will at least break the ice. Just as negativity is mirrored, so is “positivity.”
(3) We will be taking responsibility, demonstrating maturity and leadership.
(4) We will be showing sensitivity to our impacts, and making an investment in having an unfettered, future relationship with the listener.
(5) We will be renegotiating our communication contract, repudiating an implicit code of silence. Instead we’ll be saying, from now on, it’s okay to bring attention to our lapses, in the greater interest of getting along.
Sincere apologies tend to elicit quick and sincere forgiveness, and that’s nice.
Even in the odd circumstance where our apology fails to restore harmony, at least we can feel good about making the first move, about trying, about doing our best.
That’s nothing to be sorry about!

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. A frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide, Gary’s programs are offered by UCLA Extension and by numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. Gary is headquartered in Glendale, California. He can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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